Until I realized your feelings are for a girl you assumed me to be.
Now it feels like shit to know you actually hate everything I am.
-when you send sexy texts of what you want to do to me until I get there
-when you say ‘that was the longest wait ever’ and then kiss me hard
-when you push me up against the wall, grabbing my ass
-when you nibble my ear while you undress me
-when you throw me down on the bed and tease me
-when you start fucking me hard
-when you pull my hair and moan lightly in my ear
-when you make me cum 3 times in 2 hours
-when you snuggle up to me after and kiss me sweetly
This afternoon was much needed and so goddamn amazing. Thank you, the love of my life.
I love falling asleep after amazing sex with my perfect boy, just to wake up to even more amazing sex.
You make me feel like complete shit about myself.
You don’t try.
You make me cry practically everyday.
You get mad when I try to tell you how I feel to make it better.
Why the fuck do I have to love you?
When he stops by with Doritos tacos and a Baja Blast for you.
I can’t sleep, and I can’t get you off of my mind.
So I’ll just lay in bed playing Sudoku for hours.
I’ll probably cry a few time. But only because I’m trying so hard, and I have nothing to show for it.
Then maybe I’ll send you one of those five page text messages about how perfect you are and how in love with you I am that make me cry every time.
You’ll read it and tell me how nobody has ever cared as much as me…
but at the end of the day, you’re still not going to be mine.
But that’s okay. Because you’ll be happy.
And that’s all that really matters.
You’re all that really matters.
- Because when I’m with him, I don’t hate who I am. Which is more than I can say for every single one of you.
- Because unlike each of you, he cared enough to take away my razors.
- Because unlike each of you, he cared enough to make me stop taking 6-12 hydrocodone a day.
- Because unlike you guys, he makes me feel good about myself and what I’m doing each and everyday.
- Because unlike you guys, he’s put effort into making me realizing there is more to life than despising yourself even more for waking up another damn day.
- Because unlike all of you, I never doubt if he truly cares, because I can FEEL how much he cares.
- Because unlike all of you, he makes me feel like I’m not completely screwing up in life.
- Because unlike y’all he makes me genuinely happy.
- Because I deserve to be happy.
- Because even though you guys don’t see it, he’s the most amazing boy I’ve ever met, and I would be an IDIOT to let go of him.
- Because I want to show him that even though he makes some mistakes, he’s still a good person, and he deserves to be happy…like none of you do for me.
- Because when I hold his hand I have an unbreakable sense of pride and confidence that I’ve never felt before.
- Because I’m completely comfortable around him, more comfortable than I’ve ever been with any of you.
- Because I’m not going to throw away something that could possibly be the best thing to ever happen to me because of one problem.
- Because I can tell him literally anything and I don’t have to worry about him judging me, or losing his respect, unlike y’all.
- Because no matter what happens during the day, all I have to do is think of his smile, and I go to sleep in a good mood.
- Because he is worth it.
- Because he’s done SO much more for me in three months than any of you have in years.
- Because I know there is more to him than what you people can’t get past.
- Because the few hours I get to spend with him every weekend or so, makes all the shit you guys put me through and how shitty you all make me feel, go away.
- Because I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, and I won’t give up because you don’t approve.
- Because he is nothing like any of you.
When all of you sit there and tell me how wrong I am in doing this, and how bad of a guy he is, all I want to do is punch you in your ignorant face and laugh because you have no idea what you are talking about.
Don’t you dare judge what makes me happy. Yeah, you might not understand it. Yeah, it might be a little fucked up. But I’m ACTUALLY happy for the first time in my life. Why are you all trying to take that from me?
So stop being judgmental, narrow minded, pretentious, selfish, condescending assholes and start worrying about yourself. This is none of your business.
I don’t need to fucking justify anything to any of you.
When you start giving half the shit he does, then maybe I’ll listen to your explanation of how my happiness is wrong, but until then shut the fuck up.
I’m so goddamn tired of all of you.
But I really do hope it makes you feel better to put so much judgement on someone you call a friend, and someone you don’t even know.
You’re pathetic.
So whomever is going and telling my EX boyfriend everything I post on here, needs to stop.
1.) He is no longer my boyfriend, he’s not really even my friend, and he sure as hell isn’t my father! So I don’t need him knowing my life.
2.) This is my blog, and what happens on Tumblr, is supposed to stay on Tumblr.
3.) You’re causing unwanted drama and tension between him and I.
4.) I am trying to make him not a big part of my life because all he does is bring me down! So please stop letting him into my life, because all he does is tell me what to do and judge me.
You’re making me scared to post on my own blog about me…shut the fuck up!!!!! I’m serious…
I just want to not be sober…I want sleep.
I met a boy, and the story is kind of funny.
he came and visited me at work before heading back to school after only talking to me for one day
he loves star wars and bacon
he is planning on coming down to see me this weekend if I can’t go up there
we are talking all day long
he is actually genuinely attractive
he is interested in me
he makes me smile and feel good
he is funny and sweet
what is going on?
oh boy…
when stupid little boys whine about always “being treated like crap” by stupid little girls.
when the same stupid little boy leads you on super bad and then changes his mind because he doesn’t want to “ruin our friendship”
when both him and I know that I wouldn’t treat him like crap.
when he puts no effort what so ever into even trying to make a simple friendship work.
when he turns around and puts an insane amount of effort into relationships with stupid little girls who don’t want anything to do with him, an might not even exist.
when he makes me feel like I don’t matter what so ever…because he would rather have a relationship with someone he hasn’t ever met…than with me.
so a big fuck you to you dude.
